A Struggle

I've been struggling a little recently. I struggle with the fact that sometimes for days at time I don't just LOVE my job. The stay at home Mom thing. The thing is I know there isn't anywhere I would rather be, even though I really did love my other job as a hygienist. There is no one thing I can even put my finger on, it's just some days I am tired of preschool drop off and pick-up visiting teaching, church meetings and callings, play dates, scouts and flag football. Then there's mess after mess and meal after meal and snacks in between. I bought a friend a birthday gift two weeks before her birthday and thought I was so on top of things, I would send it and she could open it early. Now that gift remains on top of my fridge. Her birthday was in February.... Then when I get tired of of all these day to day things I start feeling guilty...guilty that I have so much: Kids, a wonderful husband, good employment, the gospel, family and friends.

I sometimes struggle to find the Joy in the Journey. I know when I look for it it's there, it's just remembering to look for it.

I've started trying to make small changes to enrich my life as a mother in little ways. I've only recently discovered podcasts, and listen to them from time to time while I fold the mounds and mounds of laundry that come as a result of those sweet kids and husband I have. I often choose topics on motherhood or listen to the "power of Moms" podcasts. I think the hardest thing for me is wanting to do and be more and yet staying true to who I really am. There are moments that I want to make over who I am completely. I wish to be calmer, less intense, more refined etc. but then I realize that while I'm extremely intense and wish I could change that, it's that same intensity that allows me to do and accomplish all that I do. I don't need to change who I am I just need to try to become the best version of myself.

I hate cheesy. I don't do cheesy. When I was called to be primary president several years ago I was sure they had gotten it wrong, because I don't do cheesy or cutesy and surely both of those are a prerequisite for a calling like that, right? Thankfully they said at that time with it being a brand new ward that needed to be organized and "staffed", they needed someone to get in there and "get it done". When I was released they called a wonderful, kind and loving, and may I add calm woman to serve.

Now, the reason I bring up the cheesy is because so many of the "good" mom blogs that I follow, books I read, or podcasts I listen to, and include women who seem to have it all "figured out" are great examples of magnifying their calling as mother, and yet there is so often a huge dose of "cheese" that comes with it and I just don't see that working for me...until tonight. I have read and heard about a little "exercise" one of these women's father did when she was young and she now does with her kids from time to time. She sits each child down individually and with a pen writes the first letter of something they are good at or makes them special on the tip of each of their fingers. Well, tonight after a particularly long and tiring day of mothering I was putting the girls to bed when I noticed a marker on the floor of their bedroom. I remembered this idea of the letters on the fingertips and decided to give it a try.

It was a really good thing to do. It was nice to take a quick minute and really think of 10 things that made each of them special. At first I just started with the 1 hand, but they were so excited about their little letters, repeating over and over to themselves what made them each special that of course I pulled them again into my lap to finish with the other hand. Things like C-creative A-artist S-Special L- loving H-helpful. The girls went happily to bed with smiles on their faces and blue marker all over their finger tips, and I will go to bed knowing at the very least I'm doing my very best and maybe a little bit of cheese isn't so bad after all.

Cruising to Mexico

In January out of the blue Rand said we needed to get away. I was thinking "ya right, we don't do that kind of thing". The last time we were away from the kids over night was 3 years ago and it was for 2 nights to St. George. I think we have been a way from the kids a total of 6 nights in 9 years. Kind of pathetic, but you can only do what you can do, whether it's finances, baby sitting etc. Thankfully Rand's parents were completely awesome and offered to come and spend time with the kids so we could go somewhere.

Rand was dead set on a cruise. I was not so sure, but I let him "win" and we booked our first cruise. I was excited and nervous all at the same time. We had heard good things about Royal caribbean compared to other cruise lines and were pleasantly surprised at actually how "affordable" a cruise can be especially with all your meals and entertainment included.
Last Wednesday night Rand's parents arrived about 1am and we left for the airport at 4:30 am. We were tired to say the least. All the preparing of the house for the kids and guests and us for the trip was exhausting. Once we got to the airport we were more than ready for the break from everything. Me from my normal day to day and Rand from all his different responsibilities. In fact the first night of our trip I was asleep in bed by 9 pm. Party animal.
It was especially nice to go from 40 degree weather to 80 degree weather with palm trees in sunny Florida. We left for Fort lauderdale to cruise to our one and only stop, Cozumel. We chose this place because it was one of the shortest cruises and thought it would be a good trial for us and the kids and being away. We cruised the Western Caribbean, but have heard fabulous things about the Eastern caribbean and hope to do that some day.

Of course after finally getting on board and checking out our room we figured it only made sense to have some ice cream from Ben and Jerry's. We selected "fish food" because it's our favorite and it just seemed to be fitting for the sailing experience.

This picture is on the top deck and it was a wee bit windy. Can you tell? And no, I'm not wearing shoulder pads, it just looks like it.
This was the view as we sailed away from FortLauderdale.
We splurged mostly because I was super afraid of being claustrophobic in a small interior room so we got a room with a balcony. We loved it. Only problem is, now I don't think we could ever go back. Snobs, I know :)
This is my chubby feet and the water sitting on our balcony watching as we pulled away from Florida. It was so relaxing to just watch the water and sail along.

The ship had everything you could ever imagine and more. The picture above is from the treadmill. We hit the gym for an hour every morning, and actually really looked forward to it. Who doesn't want to exercise while looking out at the ocean. The only problem was from time to time as I ran along I would suddenly find myself running off to the right, then off to the left from the ship rocking just a bit side to side. Luckily, the ship had a calm week and we didn't experience any kind of sea sickness. The crew said the week before was stormy and really rocky so we were grateful we had a calm voyage.
Yes another picture of my feet and the beautiful view as I enjoyed some sun while Rand enjoyed some shade on the deck below :)
A picture from the dining room out on the water.
One of the things I was pleasantly surprised about was the entertainment on the ship. I have always assumed that the entertainment on a cruise would be cheesy and kind of junky. I'm happy to say how very wrong I was. We saw a "In the Air" show that was basically Cirque du sole and they were incredibly talented and amazing. the theater was two stories and amazing.
We also saw an ice show on a skating rink 40x60 feet. The talent, speed, costumes, and tricks they did were Amazing! I was seriously blown away. It was totally incredible.
After crusing for two days we finally arrived in our one and only port, Cozumel. By that point we had relaxed enough and were ready to get off the boat.

Our Boat was Liberty of the Seas the further one and it was pretty huge, although they have two other boats from Royal Caribbean they say are even bigger.
We decided to do an excursion to see some Mayan ruins and then head to the beach at Playa Mia. We were happy that we did both.


This area of ruins was quite small, nothing like tulum, or Chitzenitza (?) but it was going to take an hour ferry and then an hour bus ride each way to go to the main land of Mexico and for various reasons we didn't want to do that. It was fun to just have some exposure and learn some really interesting things about the ruins. I enjoyed it way more than I even thought I would.
The picture above is of an ancient temple and if you look to right of the columns you can see some original hand prints they think having to do with some of the ceremonies that were performed at that time.

As we walked the ground we saw tons of iguana's. Rand kept saying take a picture, video that iguana. I think he was as excited about those as the ruins. He kept saying how excited Ethan would be about that. Rand thinks he saw about 60 total
Me in the arch way which is always the entrance to the area at the time. The "road" I am standing on is 9 miles long and goes out to the sea. At the time it was made it was in perfect condition completely flat and extremely white. They say at another site there is a road that is similar that goes for over 100 miles. It was all very amazing.

There were a few little shops and things and so we bought Jane a cute little Mexican dress and some black coral earrings, that are native to Cozumel. We later bought Mexican vanilla of course, some chocolate and a few other little things like a leather whip to bring home to the kids :)
After the ruins, our tour drove to the beach at Playa Mia a short distance away. The beach was beautiful and I have never seen more beautiful water. They said the visibility is at least 110 feet. The waster was more clear than anything I have ever seen. More so even than a swimming pool. It was beautiful.


They said there are up to 8 different colors of water depending on the depth and what is underneath it. We wish we would have had the time to do some snorkeling. We heard that was amazing.
Eating Mexican food in Mexico of course.

The first thing we did when we got to the beach was paddle boat. It was really fun and so cool to see how clear and clean the water was even way out away from the shore. Being on the paddle boat just made us want to be in the water so we took it back and decided to get in and do some swimming.
This water is not photoshopped it really was green and clear as clear.

A little sun bathing.
Poor Rand burns in the sun in 5 minutes so he was always hiding in the shade or under his hat. There have been a few times in our marriage that he has gotten burned so badly even with t-shirts and sun block that he has spent days in bed sick. Thankfully we did well this trip and neither of us were burned at all.
Doesn't this picture look like a post card. I still can't believe how beautiful that water is.
On the ship everyone kept talking about this bar Señor Frogs. It was a wild party going on in there. Needless to say we just walked by and smiled glad we weren't drunk out of our minds like so many others. I have never seen so much drinking in all my life and I went to a crazy college with lots of drinking.
Who doesn't love a Palm tree and with coconuts to boot.

A picture of the "promenade" in our ship. It was a really beautiful boat.

Our dining room. We were a little anxious about the dining experience of being seated with people you don't know. We originally sat with two other couples but ended up with just one other couple every night. It ended up that we hit it off really well with the couple and would sit talking for hours after dinner about everything under the sun. It was actually one of my favorite things about the trip. It got so we really looked forward to meeting them at dinner and find out about their day and then chatting on and on.


Of course the infamous towel characters. This particular night our stateroom "boy" was so excited about this creation. He saw us in the hall before we went in our room and was so giddy telling us there was a "surprise". I was thinking something along the lines of chocolate but it was this little guy. We had a good laugh about that.
One night they showed a Michael Buble concert on the big screen out by the pools. It was fun to sit in the deck chairs and hear his music and just enjoy the night.

We also saw a Variety show with the most amazing and more importantly hilarious juggler ever. His name is Chuck Gunter. I need to You tube him to see if there's anything because he was seriously awesome, and that's saying something, how awesome can a juggler really be?

We also played mini golf on board, there was karaoke, a love and marriage game. Battles of the sexes and more and more. I loved that you could participate in as much or as little as you wanted. We took a nap every day but our day in Mexico and just relaxed and did what we wanted.

The food was great with a lot of variety. We loved our waiter that we had every night. He was from Croatia. There were 245 wait staff altogether representing over 45 different countries. Pretty amazing. I think a cruise is such a great way to go. Maybe we are just getting old but we loved it. We loved spend our time together alone and love that we love and like each other so much that every minute was enjoyable.

We also think it would be a blast to someday go again with a few other couples.

Yesterday we got off the boat and were to the airport by 9am. Our first flight wasn't until 4pm! We wanted to die. We tried to get on two earlier flights but they were already booked. The good news is with all of Rand's travel miles He was bumped to 1st class every flight, which meant I got to sit in first class every flight :) I offered to give him a turn but of course he refused cause he's sweet like that.
We are so grateful we got to go and that we had such an amazing time. I really do feel rejuvenated and ready to be back to normal life. I can't think of a better way to celebrate our 13th anniversary even if it's a bit early. In fact we both said that this really was our honeymoon. Our "honeymoon" was a bit of a bust. unless you call staying in your grandma's trailer with a sick husband a great time. That's a story for another day.

Oh, and we had a layover in Detroit. I graduated from University of Michigan 11 year ago in May. Hard to believe. Truthfully I got of the plane in Detroit and was flooded with so many emotions and memories that couldn't help but cry for a bit. Again, another story for another day.

Sure glad I love and like that cute Randall wilson and that we had such a great trip. Hopefully it won't be another 3 years before we get to do it again :)