33 and UB40

Today I turned 33. It was a good day, basically because I had fairly low expectations. That may sound bad, and it's not because my family does a poor job of making me feel special but I've found the advice I received a few years ago about having low expectations in regard to holidays was some of the best advice I've ever received. Do I always follow this adivce? No, but when I do, it makes me and my family I'm afraid much, much happier.

Let me explain. In my head I want every holiday, birthday, anniversary to be amazing, wonderful and overflowing with a lifetime of memories. The reality is that most days are just typical and that's OK. Today for instance was a good day. Randall got up and made me a special breakfast and when I was cleaning bathrooms after breakfast he scolded me and told me to stop that, and that he would finish cleaning the bathrooms. I received some nice gifts and although none of them were surprises, that's OK. That way I know they are things I really want. After breakfast I somewhat lazily got ready and then I took Anna and Kate for their annual eye exams so they would be ready for school if they needed changes. That, and Anna's glasses were recently run over or something so we had no choice but buy new. Anyway, 2 and a half hours later we were done at the Dr. Then we came home, made lunch and got Jane down for a nap. Then I drove Anna out to a target optical to get her fit for glasses. By the time we got home I was able to have a little down time and then I went and picked up a sitter so Rand and I and some friends could go to dinner.

We went to Cheesecake Factory and it was yummy! We usually like to eat ethnic and at non chain restaurants, but I was just in the mood for something you just know you're going to love, and we did. I got the Bang Bang chicken and shrimp in a Thai coconut curry sauce and hello it was delish. Then just to top things off I ordered a layered chocolate cake and Randall got a slice of Godiva chocolate cheesecake and both were to die for. Cant you tell we like chocolate? I felt sick after all was said and done and I didn't even eat half of the slice of cake. I have to admit that every once in a while I'm a strong believer in eating until you just don't want to see another dessert for a month. In fact during dinner a friend texted saying to leave room for dessert tomorrow night and it made me sick. I told her I'd rather talk a walk through Home Goods :) I think I'm desserted out for awhile and that's saying something.

So my day was good. I had several calls and texts and face-book birthday wishes. Was it over the top exciting and fantastic? Not really but that's OK. I feel loved and celebrated and that's what matters. I have to admit, that one of the highlights of my day was on the way home from dropping off the baby sitter. It has been an absolutely beautiful last two days. Temperatures in the 70's and crisp and cool in the evening and mornings. We even slept with our windows open last night and had to use a blanket and it was fantastic. I can just smell Fall around the corner and that makes me giddy. So, as I drove home I put down all the windows and turned on the radio and low and behold the song "Wise men say, only fool rush in" by UB40 came on, and I was was immediately taken back to the good old high school days of stag dances. Now you can make fun all you want, but I cranked the music up super loud, and drove around town until the song ended singing at the top of my lungs. It felt so good and boy did I feel young again. Not a bad day in my book, not bad at all.

4 Years Ago

As I sat wrapping presents for our Kate's 4th birthday tomorrow, I couldn't help but think back to the time of her birth. While I know that reminiscing about a child's birth is a common thing for any mother around their birthday, the memories of Kate's birth are especially poignant.

It was a VERY difficult time for us. It all started 5 and a half years ago.... Randall had just finished graduate school in Arizona and we moved to a nice town-home in Utah, with high hopes of starting up a successful business. Randall and a friend from grad school had won a competition for entrepreneurs and we were gung ho about starting this new venture. He had funding for this project and people that mattered were telling us how successful this venture was going to be. Quite honestly we kind of thought that in a short period of time we would be building our dream home on a hill, making TONS of money and all would be perfect. What we didn't know in our naivete and inexperience is that a lot of people starting a business, even if it is a fantastic idea, aren't always successful. A little over a year later the economy started to take a dive and while things were going along relatively well with the business, our investors no longer wanted to invest. With very short notice we were left without a job or health insurance and I was then 8 months pregnant with Kate.

Needless to say it was a very scary and emotional time. Any pregnant woman is allowed an abundance of emotion but I now was pregnant and didn't even know what home I was going to bring our little baby home to. Let me back up a minute. About a month before all this, when we thought things were going along great, we had even been given the offer to buy our town home and thought that we probably would. We had grown to love the area and I had made some of my very best friends. Things were going along well. Now without a job not only could we not afford to buy the home we were currently living in, but the owner of the home suddenly decided that they needed to move in, and we needed to move out. You can imagine our panic. Randall began interviewing for jobs immediately but as is often the case he was either overqualified, or lacked enough experience depending on the job. This is often the case with job seekers and makes me crazy. Anyway, Randall had a company fly him out to Virginia all expenses paid to interview. The interview went extremely well and they basically gave him a verbal offer and so we decided the best decision would be to move in with my parents, have the baby and wait until the offer came and we could move to Virginia and all would be well.

Weeks later we were moved in with my parents and the official offer never came. We were baffled to say the least. They had even asked Randall if he wanted them to set him up with a Realtor, and thankfully he had declined. He was interviewing for anything he possibly could get. Every single interview would go very well and we kept hoping that any moment he would have a great job. All the while we kept praying that Randall would be directed to a job that we would enjoy and excel at. He even worked at a job selling organic food and freezers in the afternoons and evenings. Yes, with an MBA from an excellent and expensive school, I might add this is what he was his job. Was this humbling? Oh ya. He was miserable as you can imagine. We barely made enough money to pay our 780$ cobra payment so I could be insured when the baby came. Thankfully that job was very short lived.

This time was a blur and due to my physical and emotional state I don't remember all the details exactly but it was about a week after we moved in with my parents that my Mom found out her ovarian cancer had come back and that she needed to have major surgery and begin chemotherapy...again. My Mom was initially diagnosed with ovarian cancer when we were in grad school when Anna was a new baby. This news was shocking as you can imagine and it at least put our challenges into perspective for us. Another week passed and I was still a week out from my due date, but since my Mom needed to have surgery ASAP we convinced my OB who is a family friend to induce me so I could have the baby and get on my feet so I could help my Mom recover from her surgery. What a crazy time it was.

I have been induced with all my babies so this was nothing new to me. I went to the hospital early and after an excruciating and non planned natural birth, our sweet Katherine Elise was born, and she was beautiful and perfect. We brought her "home"(to my parents house) from the hospital on my 29th birthday. While you can't ask for a better gift it wasn't exactly my best birthday. With the joy of this new beautiful baby we still didn't have a good job, and knew that in the next 10 days or so my Mom would be facing a very difficult surgery and recovery.

The time came and my Mom had her surgery and came home shortly after and I was there to help care for her and cook and do all the household things. Thankfully I felt good very quickly after my delivery and my parents ward and my sisters in law were also very helpful. Here is where things become a little more tricky. A week or so after my Mom's surgery my Dad had a routine check for his heart and they found a blockage. Now sadly this is nothing new for us. My Dad's heart is not good and this was only one of many episodes. His health history alone would take 3 extra paragraphs. (love you dad!) So...My Dad went in for his "routine" procedure to have a stent placed in the valve that should have been same day surgery, but with my Dad nothing is ever "same day". It usually involves weeks and several near death experiences.

After Dad's "procedure" he started having pain and some problems that they couldn't explain. After several days with still more pain and complication, he had a heart attack. The heart attack then progressed to where plaque from his heart broke off and went up into his brain causing a stroke. Now, this was all very concerning and traumatic for all of us. But...this same thing had happened when I was pregnant with Anna. We were packing up house to move from Texas to Arizona to start grad school when I got a call from my Mom saying that my Dad had another heart attack, yes I said another heart attack. See? I wasn't exaggerating about these "episodes". I of course jumped on a plane and came home. It was then that he had his first stroke. I digress. So now we are living with my parents, my Mom has just come home from the hospital after having major surgery, and my Dad is now in the hospital in intensive care, and I have a 3 week old baby and am trying to keep it all together. Again, not to say that we didn't have family and ward members, but I do not exaggerate when I say that I would nurse Kate, then drive my Mom to the hospital, and push her in a wheel chair up to visit my Dad. Good times.

The good news is miracles happened with my Dad as they have too many times to count. At the time we weren't sure if he would ever come home at all, or at the very least in a "normal" state. He did recover fully and returned home a few weeks later. It was a very scary time with two invalids to care for and trying to stay a float with very little money coming in and Randall still interviewing like crazy with no better job in site.

It was during all of this that Randall began working for another company. This company was struggling and not well known...but he was offered a job and he felt very strongly that he should take the position. The pay was bad, the job not great, but again he really felt like he should take it...so he did. He learned a LOT and it turned out to be the exact job he needed to learn the skills and gain the experience he would need in the future.

Three months later we were able to move out of my parents house. Both of my parents health was stable, and Randall started a new job with Omniture, now Adobe where he is currently working. If he had not taken that job with the struggling company, making very little money he would not have been offered his current job. Even though it didn't make any logical sense at the time to take that job, if he hadn't taken it, we don't know where we would be today.

Looking back at 4 years ago today I feel many different emotions. During that time I was stressed and struggling. I was thinking: Why us? We are good people. We got a great education, we work hard, we pay our tithing, we serve in the church, I just don't get it. But now I look back and the only thing I feel is an immense sense of humility and gratitude. Our path was laid out before us and I know Heavenly Father had a very specific plan for us. I know that we needed to be with my parents exactly when we were to help them, and they helped us. We would not have been able to make it on our own financially . The job Randall felt strongly about was the exact stepping stone we needed to move on to the next step. It was the exact answer to a very specific prayer. Randall still says he never would have known how much he would enjoy doing what he does, and what a great match for his skill set it would be. If someone would have told me 4 years ago where we would be today, in any regard, I would not have believed one word of it.

I don't know why I needed to write all this tonight but I just felt like I had to recognize and remember how incredibly blessed we have been over the last few years, even then, though we weren't exactly aware of it. It wasn't easy, in fact a lot of it was still filled with struggles, but looking back and having everything fall exactly into place is amazing to me.

Our Kate is a huge part of that. She was an unexpected but pleasant surprise and the reason I write that is because we were at an unsure time in our lives and things with Rand's business were not exactly stable. We weren't sure were we would be a year from then, and our other children were making us feel like we had our hands full. When I look back now, I see what a blessing it was that she came exactly when she did. She was a beautiful and sweet, perfect little person that came when we needed her. We needed her to bring us joy in an other wise difficult time. I think it was healing for both of my parents to hold her as a sleeping newborn and feel her sweet, calm little spirit. She still remains to be nothing but sunshine to us. No matter where we go people are completely drawn to her. She honestly has something about her. We are so grateful that she came to our family. Not a day goes by that she doesn't tell me at least 10 times "Mom, I love you" and reaches up for a kiss on the lips. She melts my heart and I'm so glad that we get to celebrate her birth 4 years ago in the morning.

It's Birthday Season

Birthday season for us is the end of August. It all starts next Sunday the 21st with Kate, then two days later it's me, then 7 days later it's Ethan. Yes, that's 3 birthdays within 9 days. That makes for one very busy, and expensive month! If the kids would have been born on their due dates we would have had all 3 birthdays within 5 days, so I guess I'll count my blessings. Needless to say by the time September rolls around we are all caked out.( if you click on the pictures you can see the them all bigger and better )

We have decided in our family to do a "friend" party every other year. Last year was supposed to be the year of the friend party but with a new baby, a cross country move, and not knowing anybody here we didn't do that. So... it's been 3 years since Ethan had a party so we figured it was about time to do it up right.

Ethan is very into Harry Potter these, days not unlike a lot of people. He is currently nearly the end of book #4 and loving all of them. I can't even count how many times he has checked out the HP movies from the library this season.( Just through 3, we told he has to wait until he's older to see the others, which he thinks is SO unfair) We thought that given his love of all things Harry Potter it was only fitting to throw him a Harry Potter birthday party. Thanks to my new obsession, pinterest, I've gathered some great ideas and we started things off this weekend with his invitations.

see exhibit A:


I originally wanted to just make a scroll for his invite and tie it to an "owl" but Ethan informed me that Harry in fact received letters to Hogwarts, NOT a scroll...my bad.
Here is the invitation itself. We were going for an old "Maurader's Map" type thing. I think they turned out really well. Below is what the invite actually says:

Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry

26a Walnut Street, Summit NJ 07901

Reagan Hymas Closet Under the Attic, Second Floor 344 Park Ave., Berkeley Heights , NJ

Dear Sir,

We are pleased to accept you to the Hogwarts School of Wizardry. A special
term will be held on Saturday, August 27, 2011 in celebration of Grand Sorcerer
and Supreme Celebrant of His Ninth Birthday Ethan Wilson.

Prof. Severus Snape teaching Potions, Prof. Rubeus Hagrid teaching
Care of Magical Creatures, and Wand Making. Classes will begin at precisely 2 of the clock and will end promptly at 4.

Please R.S.V.P. by owl no later than 20 August 2011
(or use your muggle phone to call 801-404-2143)

Yours Sincerely,
Ashli Wilson
Deputy Headmistress

It's formatting weird here, but that's what it read with the hogwarts seal at the top.

Then we sealed them with red wax (crayon) and put a letter "H" stamp on it for Hogwarts

Then we drew owls on a white helium balloon to and attached one to each envelope to deliver. You can see in the top picture what it looked like altogether.

It was so fun to deliver each of them and see how excited the kids were about receiving it.

You can imagine our surprise when this afternoon after church our door bell rang and on our door step was this box with a scroll in it. It had apparently come by "owl" and informed us that they would be honored to attend etc. It was addressed to Grand Sorcerer Ethan. If you noticed in the invited they were told to RSVP by Owl or by "muggle" phone. Never in a million years would i have thought someone would be so clever with their response.


Needless to say we are getting all excited around here for the party. We have ordered our frog molds so we can make our chocolate frogs and will have botts beans and cauldron cakes and the like.

For a special gift on Ethan's actual birthday, Rand is taking Ethan and Anna into Manhattan to see the Harry Potter exhibit. They have real sets and all the actual costumes from the movies. We've heard from others that it's great. I think the kids will think it's awesome, in fact I wish I was going!

Palmyra Falls

Rand's parents came to visit recently and we all went to visit Palmyra NY, and Niagara Falls. The kids could not get that straight and we finally just started calling it "Palmyra Falls" just to cut down on the arguments and confusion.

Palmyra NY, is just a short 5 hour drive from here and yes a 5 hr drive for us anymore is just no big deal. We spend a lot of time in the car around here and have done several little road trips and the kids have done well. Although, I will say that very recently Jane is getting to that difficult and busy age where another road trip will not be on the calendar anytime soon.

We chose to go to Palmyra the week after the Hill Cumorah pageant had finished, to avoid the craziest time of year. While we have heard great things about the pageant itself, we have also heard horror stories about the crowds, the lack of hotel availability, mosquito's and a very late night at the pageant with crying kids. We've even had friends who went all the way to see the pageant and ended up leaving half way through because they and their children were so miserable.

Anywho, I was happy with our choice because all of the sites we visited were quiet and we basically had our own personal tour everywhere we went. The weather was absolutely perfect and of course it was special to see the sites where the beginning of our church all started. It was really special to walk in the same places that Joseph Smith walked and even touch some of the things he touched.

The Palmyra temple was beautiful and now sits on part of the Smith family property. One amazing feature of the Palmyra temple is that while usually all the windows of the temple are covered with beautiful stained glass, there was one window in the temple that is clear that gives a perfect view out over The Sacred Grove. It is amazing and even a little strange to see the temple just sitting out in the middle of nowhere.
We arrived in Palmyra in the afternoon the first day and went straight to the visitors center. One of the biggest reason's we went to visit was also to see Rand's mission president and Mom who are now serving their 5th, yes 5th mission there. The are an amazing couple and have been such positive examples to us throughout our marriage. We have seen them a handful of times over the years and we are grateful that Rand has such a close relationship with them. When Randall was in Albanian and the missionaries were evacuated (twice) there were times that Randall and his companion were the only missionaries actually in the mission and not allowed to proselyte so he spent a lot of one on one time with President and Sister Lenker. They spent a lot of time playing Scrabble and just talking so they know each other very well.
While the Lenkers finished up some business we took some time to climb up the Hill Cumorah to see the spot where it is believed that Joseph received the golden plates. It was a beautiful day with a beautiful view. The kids were more than happy to get out of the car and run a round a bit.

The kids with Grandpa and Grandma Wilson

The is the view from the top of the hill. The "squares" in the grass are where the people sat to see the pageant.
The is the first of the Smith's home. It was a very small log cabin that had 11 people living in it. It is not the original home but was rebuilt on the original site as far as they can tell.
This picture is looking out the back door of the home onto The Sacred Grove. Joseph Smith walked out that door to go and ask God, which of the church's was true. This view held the most significance for me and left me with a deeper impression than at any other time while we were there.

This was the upstairs room Where many of them slept and where Joseph was visited by the angel Moroni several times. The kids surprisingly loved to walk through these homes and Anna kept asking to go back to "Joseph's house" . I wondered if they would enjoy this trip at all and if they would get anything out of it, but Ethan and Anna seemed to both understand and enjoy it.
This is a view of the Palmyra temple down the lane from the Smith home.

This is the second Smith home that was built, and it was actually a very nice home. I was surprised. It made me not feel so bad about wanting a nice home of my own someday :)

This is the fireplace where Joseph at one time hid the plates from the mobs that were searching for them.





I love this picture of the kids running down the road from the grove. When we went into the grove we weren't expecting anything miraculous, but what we did experience were large swarms of bugs and flies. Needless to say we didn't last long.

The second day we drove two hours to Niagara Falls. I was looking forward to this, but it way exceeded my expectations. It was so amazing and so. much. fun.
We all rode "The Maid of the Mist", a boat that takes you as close to the falls as the current will allow. If you don't wear your poncho, and even if you do you can get very wet. It was amazing to be up so close to something so huge and amazing. The power the falls generated was awesome. The boat was reving it's engine so hard just to try to fight against the current. The pictures don't do the falls or the experience any justice but it was something I will never forget and would love to do again someday. If you ever go it's a must do.





The third day, we went E.B. Grandin's where the first Book of Mormon was published. The church now owns the site of course and it is a beautiful visitors center with the original brick and floors from when The Book of Mormon was first published. It was amazing to walk on the same floors that Joseph did and see the original ink spills on the floor. The kids were taught how the pages were printed, folded and cut. They even each made their own "signature" copy, the first 16 pages. Again we were the only ones on the tour. We then spent a little more time with the Lenkers before we filled our bellies and headed home.




Randall with President Lenker. He and his wife are both converts to the church. He was an LAPD motorcop and a tough dude. He was special ops in the Marines and has done some amazing stuff. One time in the marines he and some other marines were released from a submarine under the water and had to swim to the surface, from hundreds of feet below. I don't know how they did it. He still runs about 6 miles each morning and lifts weights and his wife walks an hour and a half each morning to keep trim and fit. See? Amazing people.





The trees in the far back of the picture are "The Grove"
This is the view from the temple, to what would have been still part of the Smith Family farm.
The kids with Grandpa and Grandma Saturday morning before they left for the airport.
We were glad that Rick and Shelley joined us on our little trip. We hope that while the kids may not remember everything they saw, or understand the significance that they will remember that it was important to us that we go and see where some of the most significant things happened in our church's history.