Saturday, April 21, 2012

Jane's Birthday

We just opened presents to celebrate Jane turning 2.  I can't help but remember back 2 years ago this morning.  I was on my way to a dr.'s appt, just 2 days from my due date.  I had been having what I thought was contractions all through the 2 nights before. (wow, that's a lot of 2's)  I was so hoping to go to my appointment to have him tell me I was making great process and I would go into labor on my own in a few days.  Sadly that was not the case.

The good old doc checked me and I was zero and zero.  Not what you want to hear just 2 days from your due date.  I wasn't quite ready to have this baby and said so.  Randall said otherwise.  He said I had been miserable and "we" should just be induced if we could be.  The dr. said we could and I still didn't want to be.  The Dr. then excused himself so Randall and I could have a little chat.  See, the thing is I have always been induced.  every.single.time.  And though I know nothing different I have always wanted to just "go on my own" if you will.  I had even read a hypnobirthing book, been listening to hynobirthing CD's to prepare myself for a natural birth, and though I didn't have my heart set on a natural birth I still didn't want to be induced.  I'm also someone who although I'm 9 months pregnant and not exactly comfortable at night, at least I can get up and go to the bathroom and go back to sleep.  Once the baby comes who knows if you will sleep at all in the night.

After some discussion mostly on Randall's part the doctor came back in.  I asked him what he thought was going to happen.  He said with my history and the "progress" I hadn't made it was a pretty high chance I would come back a week overdue and still be zero and zero.  That finally clinched it.  I would be induced, today, April 21, 2010.

That was a weird feeling.  It's always a weird feeling knowing today you will meet your baby.  The day you have waited for and hoped for and want so badly to come, and suddenly in a matter of minutes it's decided, today's the big day.

I still remember that happening with Ethan.  I went for a check 2 days past my date and was not even "ripe" or close to it.  It was decided I would be induced because at that point I wanted that baby out, NOW!  I didn't know what those endless sleepless nights felt like, and I was huge I might add, HUGE!  Even though I wanted him out, I was somewhat shocked when the doc said, ok, go over to the hospital.  I thought that meant ya know sometime today, but it meant, like right now.  I didn't even have my hospital bag with me.  I remember getting in the elevator to make the short trek to the hospital when I suddenly thought, "what have I done?".  Long story short Ethan's labor and birth were LONG and excruciating, and I honestly thought at one point I was going to die.  I have never worked that hard for something in. my. life.   It was worth it when a beautiful BIG 9lb. 5 oz. boy was hoisted, yes hoisted up onto my tummy.  He had so much blonde hair and bright blue eyes.  I was so exhausted I could hardly hold my head up to look at him, but I was thrilled he was finally OUT.

Anyway,  on that cozy, dark and rainy spring morning as we drove to the hospital I decided that on a day like that, there was no better day than to stay indoors and have a baby, and that's exactly what I did.  It was the best labor and birth experience yet.  Jane has been nothing but sweet and sunshine.  I adore her, as I do all my children.  It's fun to think back to those special baby meeting days, but for now I'm happy to celebrate her turning 2 today.

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Easter Weekend

Our Easter weekend was very low key this year. I think because of our exhausting week I just wasn't up for big hoopla. In fact it was getting late Friday night and it suddenly dawned on me I needed to do their baskets. Thankfully I had bought all the things weeks before so that was at least done. I had read about people tying a string to the kids bed and then stringing the string all through the house and figured that was easy enough and might up the excitement fact a bit at least. This cute little bunny Jane is loving on was a gift to her from my friend Laura who felt so bad about her accident. Turns out the bunny was a good replacement for the binki.

Jane's basket this year had nothing but side walk chalk, bubbles and an egg full of play-dough.
The other kids didn't have much more than a chocolate bunny a few candies and bubbles. I refuse to go all out and give them actual gifts for a holiday that really isn't about a rabbit anyway.
This is Anna after she had gathered up all her string to find her basket. It wasn't easy for them to wind it all together. I thought it was a crack up watching them try to wind it and push and pull it all over the house. I think I may have gotten a bigger kick out of it than they did.

Ethan's basket was hidden 3 floors down from his bedroom in the shower.
Our smart and handsome blonde boy. I can't believe how big he is getting. His feet are now just a tad bigger than mine and he acts older than 9. In fact I recently remembered that I need to not be so hard on him because he's still just a young little guy. Most people think he's 12.

Our cute girls in their white dresses.



The girls were watching a Mormon Messages movie and I looked over and saw this and thought it was the sweetest thing. I just may have to have that one painted someday.
This is one of Kate's drawings of an Easter Egg.

It was a fun but low-key weekend. We had the traditional ham and opted for sweet potatoes this year as we are trying to make healthier choices. We went for a nice walk and spent an hour or so at the park.

Early Easter

Last Tuesday, after school we went over to my friend Laura's for our 2nd annual early Easter party. The kids dyed eggs and did a little egg hunt and enjoyed the gorgeous Spring day that it was. We had a great time and then an hour after we got home is when we ended up in the ER in the picture below.

This picture above of Jane was taken above just minutes before she finished her dinner and had her "fall". It's funny because at the time I was taking these pictures of her "Santa face" in sour cream I was thinking to myself what a cute and perfect little smile she had...
Jane just kind of hung out while we the other kids participated in the festivities.


I'm thinking she found some candy in that egg-

Ethan definitely ran through the yard picking up eggs faster than anybody else. I had to tell him a few times to just STOP that he had enough and let the others get some.
The kids with Tommy and Molly. They are twins Anna's age. I met their Mom helping out at a Bake sale at Christmas time a year ago. I'm sure glad I volunteered to help out with that because Laura is now one of my closest friends, and always is throwing a party :)

Thursday, April 5, 2012

Trauma and Tender Mercies

It all started Tuesday morning when I hurt my back at the gym. Not actually doing anything gym-like. I was lifting (with my legs I might add) to get Jane a drink in the fountain when I suddenly had electric shock go across my back and I knew I was in trouble. Thankfully I was able to see my chiropractor within a few hours. He said to take it easy and ice it several times through out the day.

Fast forward to 6pm. We had just finished dinner and I had un buckled Jane from her booster seat. Ethan was standing right next to her so I asked him if her could just lift her out, thinking it would save me from my aching back. I don't know why, but for whatever reason Ethan went behind her chair and suddenly yanked her chair away from the table. I don't know why, and he obviously didn't know she wasn't strapped but of course she went flying out of her seat and face first hit the floor, hard!

I immediately picked her up and turned her over and it wasn't good. She was covered in blood and I couldn't see some of her teeth on her left side and her front tooth was kind of pointing outwards towards her nose. I screamed really loudly and scooped her up and was kind of in a daze initially not knowing what to do. My first thought after my initial shock was to "call Alyson". Alyson lives a half mile away and is a good friend from the ward. I have other friends not far either, but the thought was clearly "call Alyson". I called her and she immediately answered and said "hey how are you?" I said "not good, come get my kids". She just said OK and I hung up. Well with all the screaming and commotion my neighbor told her daughter to come over and just check to make sure everything was alright. I opened my door and saw her and just said "Get your Mom". Her Mom came to the the door, and took one look at Jane and yelled for her husband. At that point maybe 30 seconds after I had called Alyson she was in my driveway ready to get my kids. She said we should call 911, but the hospital is so close and at that point my neighbors husband Mr. Allam was already running to his car to take me to the ER. I just ran to the car and jumped in the back seat knowing my kids were in good hands. Randall of course was still at work in the city and oblivious to all of this-thankfully. As we raced up the hill to the hospital ER just behind our house, literally within walking distance, my neighbor who is a very devote muslim, prayed quietly all the way to the ER. It was very comforting to me that he was praying for us as we rode to the hospital. I think that I was to the hospital with 5 minutes from the time Jane fell.

I ran in and they immediately took me back to the triage nurse. Initially I think they thought I was over reacting and the nurse said "did she fall and bite her lip?" I was so angry and up set at that and I was of course still crying. The nurse asked me what happened and I started to tell her but she stopped me and said "I can't understand anything you are saying, you have to stop crying." I was able to pull it together to tell her. After that they took us right back to a room and it wasn't long after that we saw our first Dr.

The strange thing was once left the house, Jane was completely quiet and calm the whole time, it was me that was a mess. I was glad that she was so calm, and yet scared at the same time. I knew she hadn't hit her head, but was still just very worried. The nurse was very sweet and remarked at how sweet and calm Jane was. They didn't want to clean her up at all because they thought then she wouldn't let the Dr's look her when they needed too.

The first Dr, checked her over and said that other than her mouth she looked good but it was evident we needed a dental resident to check her out. There wasn't one in the hospital so I had to wait for someone to come from home. It was now that I was able to call Randall while he was on the train home to tell him what happened. Mr. Allam my neighbor just decided he was going to stay with me. At first I felt a bit awkward about this but soon found it comforting to not be alone. It was also good because he asked me to tell Rand to text when he got to the station so he could pick him up. About 7:45 Rand was off the train and to the hospital. It was right after Rand came that the dental resident showed up. After palpating her face, the resident "Helen" said we needed to go up to the dental clinic to take some x-rays. Jane was a complete sweetheart. I sat in the chair and then Jane sat in my lap. Jane did everything she was asked to do, opening her mouth to hold the x-rays. Helen said that most children her age aren't cooperative and if these x-rays didn't work we would have to do a CAT scan. I was praying they would work, and they did. While we waited for the x-rays to develop, Randall gave her a quick priesthood blessing. The x-ray confirmed what I was afraid of. Jane had broken the buccal bone portion of her maxilla or the outer portion of her upper jaw bone. Not only was the bone broken, but it was dislocated. That was why that section of her jaw was looking so deformed and "pushed out". Of course with this news I was upset again. Helen said this was now past her abilities and we would need to call in an oral surgeon. Again, there wasn't one in the hospital so he needed to be called in.

When the surgeon came he confirmed what we already knew and gave us some options to correct or "set" the bone. We could go to the operating room and sedate her, which wasn't the best option and can be dangerous, we could give her morphine and then "papoose" her and then do the procedure or minor surgery she needed, or we could just papoose her and use local anesthetic to numb the area and just get it done. He told us the procedure would only take about 5 minutes total. We opted for the papoose and local anesthetic. I felt really mean for choosing this option knowing it was probably the least comfortable for her initially but would be the least traumatic and side effect free. I was really worried about giving her morphine and the side effects she may have from that.

After he was all set up and ready to go we strapped her in and he set to work. her arms were strapped but her little hands were free, so I held her hands and talked to her while he worked. Randall stood behind me just in case he got "woozy". No surprise Jane screamed and screamed and screamed. It was hard to stand there and watch and yet I was glad we could be there to try to comfort her even a little bit. The saddest part was a bout half way through she started calling out "daddy! Daddy". The surgeon was able to put the bone back into place mostly. He couldn't do it all the way because he was worried about damaging the permanent teeth buds that were already forming. She also had a laceration above the teeth that had to be stitched. The saddest part was after her procedure, the surgeon said that the piece was still very fragile and Jane couldn't have anything between her teeth or it could displace the bone. That meant no more binkies, sippy cups, straw or real "food". She could only have liquids and smoothie type consistency foods for while to let the bone heal and set. This part was devastating to me. Jane always goes to bed with a binkie, and now when she had gone through the most traumatic thing of her life there were no comfort items.

After it was done of course I cried again holding her and trying to comfort her. This was when Jane had the hardest time. She was exhausted, upset, probably hurting and hated that her face was numb. She was just flailing her limbs and trying to bat at her face. She kept wanting to go back and forth between Randall and me trying to get comfortable. They gave her some tylenol with codeine and she finally settled down and went to sleep. After we were discharged we called our neighbor again and they were there within minutes to pick us up and take us home.

When we came home Alyson was there and had come back with all the kids and gotten them settled and into bed. Dinner was cleaned up and put away. This was so nice. We were able to just worry about Jane and get her settled and into bed. We put her into bed with her little love-its and she didn't even ask for her binki. I was so grateful. I'm sure she was just to worn out to care. She sleep so well through the night, I however did not. I was awake so much of the night worrying and checking etc. She didn't even wake when the pain meds were supposed to have worn off so finally I woke her to give her some motrin and milk. I was worried that if I didn't she would waken the morning in horrible pain.

When she awakened in the morning she was her normal self. She was swollen a little but I think minimally for all that she was put through. When she was admitted to the hospital they wouldn't let her eat or drink in case she had to have surgery. When I went to change her diaper she was completely dry so I knew we needed to start pushing fluids. Thankfully Rand can work from home so he was home while I ran to get the essentials at the store. Other than wanting to eat certain foods, Jane was a total champ throughout the day. She was sweet and happy and crazy! In fact she was climbing everything just like normal and jumping off of things and giving me a heart attack. Yesterday I just followed her around like a puppy wishing she had a helmet with a face guard she could wear. At nap time she did ask for her binki but I just told her she couldn't because of her bad "owie". I gave her a baby to sleep with instead and she didn't even cry. I couldn't believe it.

The reason I write all this is to acknowledge and remember how blessed we were. As much as I was upset and we don't know if her teeth will stay in or not, or if the bone will develop correctly there I don't care. It could be far worse. I know there were tender mercies right and left. I asked Alyson later how she was to my house within seconds and it was because she was on the street just over from mine on her way back from the church after scouts. No one else could have been there that fast and Heavenly Father knew where she was and who to call. Thanks to our paper thin walls my neighbor knew there was a problem, and sent her daughter over. We often don't love the street we live on but we have now had 2 emergencies where it sure was nice to be so close, and our neighbors have been a blessing on many occasions.

Another thing that was so sweet is that you can imagine after it happened Ethan felt terrible. In fact I couldn't find him as I was running out of the house to the hospital. When Alyson got the kids in the car she suggested they all say a prayer for Jane. Ethan told her that he already said a prayer in his room. I was so happy and proud that prayer was his first instinct. I know that it could have been far worse than it was. Jane really is doing so well and other than me being a total stress case and low on patience at the moment, we are doing great. Alyson brought soup for lunch yesterday and our neighbors brought us dinner. I know our many prayers were answered and that we couldn't have been better watched over.

We go back to the surgeon to check on her progress tomorrow and see what else needs to be done, if anything.