A Jersey Day

Oh boy what a difference a day makes. Just the other night Randall and I were having a very serious discussion about whether we would consider staying here forever. The concenses was that we really would if it weren't for just one teensy little thing like the cost of a home around here, oh and then the taxes on top of that. Anyway, we were happily discussing all the little things that we love about living here and how much even the things that we found difficult in the beginning are now just quite "normal".

But then today I had what I very lovingly refer to as "A Jersey Day". I'm just minding my own business and suddenly I found myself almost face to face with a very upset and very rude woman in a parking lot that left me almost in tears after the little altercation. I just can't believe how quickly people can be so rude. And then it just seems to be in my cards that the rest of the day I continued to have these little "Jersey" incidents. I even called Randall trying to catch him before he was on his plane today completely upset saying "Let's move to Georgia, I hate New Jersey."

Randall called from the airport early this evening to tell me he had bought me a gift. He said I had to guess what it was and since he was on a layover in Detroit I guessed almost immediately that he had bought me a new University of Michigan sweatshirt, since I had finally gotten rid of mine that I've had since my college days oh just 10 years ago. I was so excited. He just walked in the door and handed it to me to try on, and to add insult to injury... it's too small! I think it's time for bed. Tomorrow is another day...in Jersey.

Shirts vs Skins

The other night Ethan was getting ready for soccer practice when he turns to me and says "Mom, I sure hope they do shirts and skins tonight, and I hope I get to be skins." Of course somewhat giggling I ask him, "Why?" "Cause it makes me feel so tough!"

Thanks Ethan, I needed that.

I admit it, I was wrong

When Summer was coming to a close, all my friends were so sad to sad goodbye to lazy days and the craziness of Summer.  I kept thinking, "what are they talking about, this summer has been non stop crazy!"  But, then school started, and my kids are older this year, and boy what a difference a year makes.  We have more activities, more homework, more errands, and more drop offs.  I feel a bit crazy. So I admit it, I was wrong, the school year is crazy!

The first week I prided myself on the well oiled machine we had running around here.  I would awaken before all the kids and shower and be ready when they awakened so we could have a good breakfast and not be rushed to get out the door.  I walked the kids to school and and back each day.  While the kids were away I did laundry and cleaned house and it stayed done for awhile and I loved it.  Dinner was done everyday by 3pm and I felt like "I totally got this."  Then I don't know what happend but somehow the Leave it to Beaver days are over and while things aren't totally out of control I just feel like I am constantly running, and my laundry gets done and folded but not put away, or dinner gets left to the last minutes during the hardest hour of the day when Jane wants attention, and the kids needs help with homework or practicing and I just want to scream, and scream I have.

I also pride myself on the fact that I am NOT a yeller.  But the last week I'm ashamed to say that there has been quite a bit of yelling.  There probably would have been more yelling except for the fact that we share a wall with our neighbors and that does inhibit me somewhat, thank heavens :)  I think part of this sudden craziness is that the kids are tired and adjusting to all the busyness themselves, which means there is a lot more crying on they're part and more tantrums and me getting impatient.  I have consumed more M&M's in the last week than probably over my lifetime (ok, so that was a bit of an exaggeration, but only a bit) 

I'm hoping things settle down and I am doing my best to say "No" to certain things like when the PTO comes calling for help or Anna wants to join "The daisies" girl scout troop.  I did sign up to do a few crafts for holidays at the kids school so I think that's plenty for now.

Anyway, I am just feeling a bit ornery and sadly this is my update.  I am so far behind in all that I need and want to post but it is what it is and one of these days I will get to it. But not for now, and that's okay.

It's Coming...School time that is

I'm overwhelmed with different emotions as the kids prepare to start school in just 3 days...gasp. While there were a few days last week that I couldn't wait for that day to come, now it's practically here and I can hardly believe it. We have had a great summer filled with many fun and busy things. The time has literally passed faster than I ever could have imagined. Last summer was the LONGEST summer of my life. It probably had something to do with the fact that we had just moved here, I had a brand new baby, we didn't join the local pool, and I didn't know anybody or anywhere to go, AND we had almost an extra month of summer since Utah gets out of school so early and they start so late here. This year however there was always something to do or see or someone here visiting us. I have a list of things that we did that I want to blog about, and yet don't even know when I will get the time to sit down to unload my camera full of pictures.

Things are are only going to continue to be busy. Ethan will have soccer on Tuesday and Saturdays, Anna gymnastics on Thursdays, Ethan and Anna both have piano on Wednesdays and all sort of meetings and baby showers and RS activities all of which I'm in charge of to keep us going full stream ahead.

I'm looking forward to some time to de-junk from all the summer accumulation, deep clean, and get organized. The thing I am excited for the most is having things once cleaned to actually stay that way without 4 kids and their whirlwind to mess it up the second it's been completed. Although I have to say that Kate is our biggest mess maker as of late. She is very into building forts and "traps", using anything she can find to basically make just a huge pile of junk. Then of course when she is asked to clean it up, she replies "I'm too young, or it's too heavy" or a smattering of other excuses. Oh, and I already forgot that Kate will start school too on Friday. She will go to school 3 mornings a week. I think she's ready and will love it and I'm sure once she starts I will love the time I have with just Jane to get things done. The thought of leaving her for those hours a week right now makes me a wee bit sick. Not in a I don't think this is a right kind of way, but a how is it possible that she is 4 and going to school? Next year she will start Kindergarten and go ALL DAY! That thought almost breaks my heart and yet I think she will do fine and enjoy it. Included in her preschool is an activity each day. Monday she does dance, Tuesday she has a swimming lesson, and Friday she has gym and fitness. I'm anxious to see how she takes to all of these new experiences. I think she will be one tired cookie come night time.

This time of year is also one of the busiest with my calling. I am over the activities in Relief Society as well as the 6 weekly groups that we have. I have great group leaders but I kind of have to get everything organized and up and running. We also have a RS quarterly activity next week and I only have 1 committee member and she was just called to be the VT coordinator so is busy herself so basically the activity is all on me. It's all good and it's nothing too hard it just adds to my now already full plate. The good news is I'm learning to lower my expectations and to delegate. Our ward is great and people are always willing to help if you just ask. I'm just trying to keep this all in mind as I go to back to school and don't accidentally over commit myself to helping in my kids classrooms. There's a time and a season right?

I'm anxious for this next phase and hope it's a smooth transition. Randall gave all the kids and myself our "Back to school" blessings this afternoon and that was nice. I don't think the kids realize what a big deal that is. We tried to help them understand what a blessing it is that they have a Father in the home that not only loves them, but holds and is worthy to use his Priesthood to bless them whenever then need. I still remember receiving a father's blessing before school each year and think it is a very sweet and important tradition. We'll see how the week goes. Wish us luck!

33 and UB40

Today I turned 33. It was a good day, basically because I had fairly low expectations. That may sound bad, and it's not because my family does a poor job of making me feel special but I've found the advice I received a few years ago about having low expectations in regard to holidays was some of the best advice I've ever received. Do I always follow this adivce? No, but when I do, it makes me and my family I'm afraid much, much happier.

Let me explain. In my head I want every holiday, birthday, anniversary to be amazing, wonderful and overflowing with a lifetime of memories. The reality is that most days are just typical and that's OK. Today for instance was a good day. Randall got up and made me a special breakfast and when I was cleaning bathrooms after breakfast he scolded me and told me to stop that, and that he would finish cleaning the bathrooms. I received some nice gifts and although none of them were surprises, that's OK. That way I know they are things I really want. After breakfast I somewhat lazily got ready and then I took Anna and Kate for their annual eye exams so they would be ready for school if they needed changes. That, and Anna's glasses were recently run over or something so we had no choice but buy new. Anyway, 2 and a half hours later we were done at the Dr. Then we came home, made lunch and got Jane down for a nap. Then I drove Anna out to a target optical to get her fit for glasses. By the time we got home I was able to have a little down time and then I went and picked up a sitter so Rand and I and some friends could go to dinner.

We went to Cheesecake Factory and it was yummy! We usually like to eat ethnic and at non chain restaurants, but I was just in the mood for something you just know you're going to love, and we did. I got the Bang Bang chicken and shrimp in a Thai coconut curry sauce and hello it was delish. Then just to top things off I ordered a layered chocolate cake and Randall got a slice of Godiva chocolate cheesecake and both were to die for. Cant you tell we like chocolate? I felt sick after all was said and done and I didn't even eat half of the slice of cake. I have to admit that every once in a while I'm a strong believer in eating until you just don't want to see another dessert for a month. In fact during dinner a friend texted saying to leave room for dessert tomorrow night and it made me sick. I told her I'd rather talk a walk through Home Goods :) I think I'm desserted out for awhile and that's saying something.

So my day was good. I had several calls and texts and face-book birthday wishes. Was it over the top exciting and fantastic? Not really but that's OK. I feel loved and celebrated and that's what matters. I have to admit, that one of the highlights of my day was on the way home from dropping off the baby sitter. It has been an absolutely beautiful last two days. Temperatures in the 70's and crisp and cool in the evening and mornings. We even slept with our windows open last night and had to use a blanket and it was fantastic. I can just smell Fall around the corner and that makes me giddy. So, as I drove home I put down all the windows and turned on the radio and low and behold the song "Wise men say, only fool rush in" by UB40 came on, and I was was immediately taken back to the good old high school days of stag dances. Now you can make fun all you want, but I cranked the music up super loud, and drove around town until the song ended singing at the top of my lungs. It felt so good and boy did I feel young again. Not a bad day in my book, not bad at all.

4 Years Ago

As I sat wrapping presents for our Kate's 4th birthday tomorrow, I couldn't help but think back to the time of her birth. While I know that reminiscing about a child's birth is a common thing for any mother around their birthday, the memories of Kate's birth are especially poignant.

It was a VERY difficult time for us. It all started 5 and a half years ago.... Randall had just finished graduate school in Arizona and we moved to a nice town-home in Utah, with high hopes of starting up a successful business. Randall and a friend from grad school had won a competition for entrepreneurs and we were gung ho about starting this new venture. He had funding for this project and people that mattered were telling us how successful this venture was going to be. Quite honestly we kind of thought that in a short period of time we would be building our dream home on a hill, making TONS of money and all would be perfect. What we didn't know in our naivete and inexperience is that a lot of people starting a business, even if it is a fantastic idea, aren't always successful. A little over a year later the economy started to take a dive and while things were going along relatively well with the business, our investors no longer wanted to invest. With very short notice we were left without a job or health insurance and I was then 8 months pregnant with Kate.

Needless to say it was a very scary and emotional time. Any pregnant woman is allowed an abundance of emotion but I now was pregnant and didn't even know what home I was going to bring our little baby home to. Let me back up a minute. About a month before all this, when we thought things were going along great, we had even been given the offer to buy our town home and thought that we probably would. We had grown to love the area and I had made some of my very best friends. Things were going along well. Now without a job not only could we not afford to buy the home we were currently living in, but the owner of the home suddenly decided that they needed to move in, and we needed to move out. You can imagine our panic. Randall began interviewing for jobs immediately but as is often the case he was either overqualified, or lacked enough experience depending on the job. This is often the case with job seekers and makes me crazy. Anyway, Randall had a company fly him out to Virginia all expenses paid to interview. The interview went extremely well and they basically gave him a verbal offer and so we decided the best decision would be to move in with my parents, have the baby and wait until the offer came and we could move to Virginia and all would be well.

Weeks later we were moved in with my parents and the official offer never came. We were baffled to say the least. They had even asked Randall if he wanted them to set him up with a Realtor, and thankfully he had declined. He was interviewing for anything he possibly could get. Every single interview would go very well and we kept hoping that any moment he would have a great job. All the while we kept praying that Randall would be directed to a job that we would enjoy and excel at. He even worked at a job selling organic food and freezers in the afternoons and evenings. Yes, with an MBA from an excellent and expensive school, I might add this is what he was his job. Was this humbling? Oh ya. He was miserable as you can imagine. We barely made enough money to pay our 780$ cobra payment so I could be insured when the baby came. Thankfully that job was very short lived.

This time was a blur and due to my physical and emotional state I don't remember all the details exactly but it was about a week after we moved in with my parents that my Mom found out her ovarian cancer had come back and that she needed to have major surgery and begin chemotherapy...again. My Mom was initially diagnosed with ovarian cancer when we were in grad school when Anna was a new baby. This news was shocking as you can imagine and it at least put our challenges into perspective for us. Another week passed and I was still a week out from my due date, but since my Mom needed to have surgery ASAP we convinced my OB who is a family friend to induce me so I could have the baby and get on my feet so I could help my Mom recover from her surgery. What a crazy time it was.

I have been induced with all my babies so this was nothing new to me. I went to the hospital early and after an excruciating and non planned natural birth, our sweet Katherine Elise was born, and she was beautiful and perfect. We brought her "home"(to my parents house) from the hospital on my 29th birthday. While you can't ask for a better gift it wasn't exactly my best birthday. With the joy of this new beautiful baby we still didn't have a good job, and knew that in the next 10 days or so my Mom would be facing a very difficult surgery and recovery.

The time came and my Mom had her surgery and came home shortly after and I was there to help care for her and cook and do all the household things. Thankfully I felt good very quickly after my delivery and my parents ward and my sisters in law were also very helpful. Here is where things become a little more tricky. A week or so after my Mom's surgery my Dad had a routine check for his heart and they found a blockage. Now sadly this is nothing new for us. My Dad's heart is not good and this was only one of many episodes. His health history alone would take 3 extra paragraphs. (love you dad!) So...My Dad went in for his "routine" procedure to have a stent placed in the valve that should have been same day surgery, but with my Dad nothing is ever "same day". It usually involves weeks and several near death experiences.

After Dad's "procedure" he started having pain and some problems that they couldn't explain. After several days with still more pain and complication, he had a heart attack. The heart attack then progressed to where plaque from his heart broke off and went up into his brain causing a stroke. Now, this was all very concerning and traumatic for all of us. But...this same thing had happened when I was pregnant with Anna. We were packing up house to move from Texas to Arizona to start grad school when I got a call from my Mom saying that my Dad had another heart attack, yes I said another heart attack. See? I wasn't exaggerating about these "episodes". I of course jumped on a plane and came home. It was then that he had his first stroke. I digress. So now we are living with my parents, my Mom has just come home from the hospital after having major surgery, and my Dad is now in the hospital in intensive care, and I have a 3 week old baby and am trying to keep it all together. Again, not to say that we didn't have family and ward members, but I do not exaggerate when I say that I would nurse Kate, then drive my Mom to the hospital, and push her in a wheel chair up to visit my Dad. Good times.

The good news is miracles happened with my Dad as they have too many times to count. At the time we weren't sure if he would ever come home at all, or at the very least in a "normal" state. He did recover fully and returned home a few weeks later. It was a very scary time with two invalids to care for and trying to stay a float with very little money coming in and Randall still interviewing like crazy with no better job in site.

It was during all of this that Randall began working for another company. This company was struggling and not well known...but he was offered a job and he felt very strongly that he should take the position. The pay was bad, the job not great, but again he really felt like he should take it...so he did. He learned a LOT and it turned out to be the exact job he needed to learn the skills and gain the experience he would need in the future.

Three months later we were able to move out of my parents house. Both of my parents health was stable, and Randall started a new job with Omniture, now Adobe where he is currently working. If he had not taken that job with the struggling company, making very little money he would not have been offered his current job. Even though it didn't make any logical sense at the time to take that job, if he hadn't taken it, we don't know where we would be today.

Looking back at 4 years ago today I feel many different emotions. During that time I was stressed and struggling. I was thinking: Why us? We are good people. We got a great education, we work hard, we pay our tithing, we serve in the church, I just don't get it. But now I look back and the only thing I feel is an immense sense of humility and gratitude. Our path was laid out before us and I know Heavenly Father had a very specific plan for us. I know that we needed to be with my parents exactly when we were to help them, and they helped us. We would not have been able to make it on our own financially . The job Randall felt strongly about was the exact stepping stone we needed to move on to the next step. It was the exact answer to a very specific prayer. Randall still says he never would have known how much he would enjoy doing what he does, and what a great match for his skill set it would be. If someone would have told me 4 years ago where we would be today, in any regard, I would not have believed one word of it.

I don't know why I needed to write all this tonight but I just felt like I had to recognize and remember how incredibly blessed we have been over the last few years, even then, though we weren't exactly aware of it. It wasn't easy, in fact a lot of it was still filled with struggles, but looking back and having everything fall exactly into place is amazing to me.

Our Kate is a huge part of that. She was an unexpected but pleasant surprise and the reason I write that is because we were at an unsure time in our lives and things with Rand's business were not exactly stable. We weren't sure were we would be a year from then, and our other children were making us feel like we had our hands full. When I look back now, I see what a blessing it was that she came exactly when she did. She was a beautiful and sweet, perfect little person that came when we needed her. We needed her to bring us joy in an other wise difficult time. I think it was healing for both of my parents to hold her as a sleeping newborn and feel her sweet, calm little spirit. She still remains to be nothing but sunshine to us. No matter where we go people are completely drawn to her. She honestly has something about her. We are so grateful that she came to our family. Not a day goes by that she doesn't tell me at least 10 times "Mom, I love you" and reaches up for a kiss on the lips. She melts my heart and I'm so glad that we get to celebrate her birth 4 years ago in the morning.

It's Birthday Season

Birthday season for us is the end of August. It all starts next Sunday the 21st with Kate, then two days later it's me, then 7 days later it's Ethan. Yes, that's 3 birthdays within 9 days. That makes for one very busy, and expensive month! If the kids would have been born on their due dates we would have had all 3 birthdays within 5 days, so I guess I'll count my blessings. Needless to say by the time September rolls around we are all caked out.( if you click on the pictures you can see the them all bigger and better )

We have decided in our family to do a "friend" party every other year. Last year was supposed to be the year of the friend party but with a new baby, a cross country move, and not knowing anybody here we didn't do that. So... it's been 3 years since Ethan had a party so we figured it was about time to do it up right.

Ethan is very into Harry Potter these, days not unlike a lot of people. He is currently nearly the end of book #4 and loving all of them. I can't even count how many times he has checked out the HP movies from the library this season.( Just through 3, we told he has to wait until he's older to see the others, which he thinks is SO unfair) We thought that given his love of all things Harry Potter it was only fitting to throw him a Harry Potter birthday party. Thanks to my new obsession, pinterest, I've gathered some great ideas and we started things off this weekend with his invitations.

see exhibit A:


I originally wanted to just make a scroll for his invite and tie it to an "owl" but Ethan informed me that Harry in fact received letters to Hogwarts, NOT a scroll...my bad.
Here is the invitation itself. We were going for an old "Maurader's Map" type thing. I think they turned out really well. Below is what the invite actually says:

Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry

26a Walnut Street, Summit NJ 07901

Reagan Hymas Closet Under the Attic, Second Floor 344 Park Ave., Berkeley Heights , NJ

Dear Sir,

We are pleased to accept you to the Hogwarts School of Wizardry. A special
term will be held on Saturday, August 27, 2011 in celebration of Grand Sorcerer
and Supreme Celebrant of His Ninth Birthday Ethan Wilson.

Prof. Severus Snape teaching Potions, Prof. Rubeus Hagrid teaching
Care of Magical Creatures, and Wand Making. Classes will begin at precisely 2 of the clock and will end promptly at 4.

Please R.S.V.P. by owl no later than 20 August 2011
(or use your muggle phone to call 801-404-2143)

Yours Sincerely,
Ashli Wilson
Deputy Headmistress

It's formatting weird here, but that's what it read with the hogwarts seal at the top.

Then we sealed them with red wax (crayon) and put a letter "H" stamp on it for Hogwarts

Then we drew owls on a white helium balloon to and attached one to each envelope to deliver. You can see in the top picture what it looked like altogether.

It was so fun to deliver each of them and see how excited the kids were about receiving it.

You can imagine our surprise when this afternoon after church our door bell rang and on our door step was this box with a scroll in it. It had apparently come by "owl" and informed us that they would be honored to attend etc. It was addressed to Grand Sorcerer Ethan. If you noticed in the invited they were told to RSVP by Owl or by "muggle" phone. Never in a million years would i have thought someone would be so clever with their response.


Needless to say we are getting all excited around here for the party. We have ordered our frog molds so we can make our chocolate frogs and will have botts beans and cauldron cakes and the like.

For a special gift on Ethan's actual birthday, Rand is taking Ethan and Anna into Manhattan to see the Harry Potter exhibit. They have real sets and all the actual costumes from the movies. We've heard from others that it's great. I think the kids will think it's awesome, in fact I wish I was going!